Tuesday, 12 May 2009

Lipstick on the pint glasses

Right! I'm back! now all can be revealed about how I saved the western world from certain disaster (again) Now it was like this, Gordon (I'm only in it for the laughs) Brown called me and....

Nope that's never going to be believed.. (that Gordon Brown should laugh that is, well except when looking at MP's expenses bills)

I was spending the week at St Audries, for those of you that don't know it click here Where until last year I was working as the bar manager and have actually been going on holiday there since God was a lad (well 1966)

This was the first of the two per year locally (in)famous trannie weeks where men come (often with their wives) to don a frock and behave, well actually like 200 blokes on a weeks piss up :-)

A year or two ago, young Jason in the kitchen fell into the trap 'This lot, they don't half put it away like men...' 'Jason, that ARE men!' 'oh... yeah...' But strangely enough it's all too easy to forget that fact even when the 'lady' in question in a smart navy blue suit with pleated skirt and silk blouse that Margaret Thatcher would have taken a fancy to is standing there, legs apart with a cigar in one hand and a pint of Real Ale in the other..

The week is hard work and then some, they are full on, demanding, exasperating and some of them so annoying you'd happily tip them over the cliff. They eat and drink like it's going out of fashion and above all are fun.

As a manager you have to be efficient, calming, diplomatic, run a tight ship, be concerned, be warm and welcoming and that all goes out the window with the trannies. You can let rip say (well shout over the music)things that you'd never dare utter to anyone else and they'll shout with laughter and love it (and probably buy you a drink). Get away with murder? not half..

This last week went particularly well, for once there was no major problems, no more then amusing bitchiness, no fights or even complaints. We could have done with another ice machine, and I WISH someone would teach men how to apply lipstick properly so it doesn't come off on everything, but you can't have it all..

Three of my four lovely girls also came back to help (the dream team they insist) Heather is pictured above. We worked hard, had a load of fun, one or two glasses of wine and oh I do miss the place, Bar management is the one thing I am good at..


  1. Absence has, indeed, made the heart grow fonder. Glad you had fun and glad that you're home safe and sound.

  2. You've been missed!!! Glad you're back again! That was a nice treat to see the site for St. Audries. Sounds like a fun place and very well maintained too, eh?

    So what projects are you list for you to finish, Graham. I'm sure you won't be sitting around twiddling your thumbs.