Eurowhat?

Last night was the cultural highlight of the year, the night when Europe comes together in a night of ... well tat and high camp actually...

The Eurovision song contest.. you can tell how much I love it in that the last time I saw it I was in hospital having my appendix out, I think I was about 13 and Bucks Fizz won with the 'notorious' ripping off of the girls skirts sequence (I defy you to watch it without laughing, or going ahhhh... they were so clean :-)

So last night on Moscow (since when is Moscow in Europe? I think things must have changed since I saw it last) was a night of sheer ultracamp and *this* was actually the best thing on. (I had to watch TV, I was cooking spaghetti bolagnese and drinking wine, you cant do that without TV)

Now it shows what I know, I actually liked Sweden and Germany best as upholding the long tradition of sheer over the topness and they came joint 4th from last. The German entry was just Camp with a capital 'C' (who would ever have thought it?) and The Swedish entry was this fantastic terrifying white blonde Norse Beauty with heavy duty opera overtones and a backup of 5 dancing Rosa Klebb's, truly fine :-)

Britain came 5th and frankly we woz done, or someone was... we should have come joint last with Moscow themselves (ensuring they wouldn't have to fork out for hosting it next year as well).

All the other entry's were, up, fun, glitzy, had dancers (some quite startlingly athletic) movement and excitement. Us? we had some dirge with a girl called Jade who apparently won one of those talentless 'reality' TV shows.

Piano was played and it was written by *sir* andrew lloyd webber. If you don't know him he's a man who has heard that politics is showbiz for ugly people and decided to buck the trend.

He usually churns out commercial pap, which could even have worked (given some performer who didn't think that wailing at full volume was singing)but changing the habit of a lifetime went for full on dreary. I dont care what the annoying Graham Norton says, it was embarrassing. It comes to something when you're beaten hollow by Turkey, Iceland and Azerbaijan!

I think last or some other year the media was all in a frenzy when we came last, we *might* not have deserved it then (I don't know) but we sure did last night.